Recovering

by Bea Garth, copyright 2008

There is nothing quite like
feeling a little energy again
like life is possible
after a siege, however humble,
like a bug recovering after falling
or almost being squashed.
I still hack and cough
but the rasp is not as deep,
the tiredness not as pervasive.
I start noticing how I haven’t bathed
and my clothes are dirty and disheveled,
the dishes stacked in several piles,
wads of kleenex strewn about like white armies.

This time I finally have the energy
to watch TV with its trips to outer and inner space:
the mean-ness of humanity
overcome in some plot once again
slave inmates trying to get back to Planet Earth
from a work colony in outer space ruled by a madman
enjoying their torture and discomfort
the show intertwined with endless news programs
about the need for change in politics and the mortgage crisis
the war in Iraq led by our wide eyed president
who shoots down funding for alternative energy
so he can continue to subsidize Big Oil
sandwiched between tender pictures
of those whose lives war has destroyed
come in at long last into my living room
as I drink hot tea while the announcer tells me how
the soldiers are keeping more Iraqis safe
and shows me the lucky children
in their brand new wheelchairs our convicts have made
and all I need to do is click on the web for my contribution.

My body itches again in places I shouldn’t have to scratch.
I apply my salve, grateful I have it,
grateful I have a bit of life again
grateful the hacking seems to have abated
grateful my recovery does not involve mangled parts
or memories of raped sisters
from the room next to me
and dismembered children carried in my arms
the lucky ones waiting for a wheelchair or an operation in neighboring Iran.
“At last we have faces for this war!” I announce
to myself and all my Kleenexes,
grateful for signs of becoming well again and hopeful
despite our president with his dirty war
all about oil, fear, power and dismemberment.
“Maybe now we can finally fight our way back to Planet Earth!”
I mumble as I drink another cup of hot tea
and take my spoons of bitter expectorant
and prepare at last to go back to bed.